THE PERFECT SUMMER SHIRT

You can't buy the perfect summer shirt. You have to make it. What you need are a terrific T-shirt and a scissors. The T-shirt has to be white, with something cool printed on it. One-hundred-percent cotton is best, but ninety-nine percent cotton is acceptable, as long as the one percent isn't burlap.


Most cool printed T-shirts come in two sizes, Large and Extra-Large. Adjusting for size inflation, that's Medium and Extra-Medium. No matter what size you get, they all hang down past your knees. Unless you want a shirt that can double as a dress you will have to crop it. A new shirt should be washed and dried at least once before cropping. Then try it on, and determine how long you want it to be. If you want it to fall, say, three inches below the waist, you will need to crop at a level about four inches below the waist to allow for the curl that will happen after it's laundered.


It's important to get a T-shirt that's roomy. If Large is a little tight, get Extra-Large. If Extra-Large is tight, you are S.O.L. (shirt outa luck).


The next steps are to cut off the sleeves and the area around the neck. Be careful not to cut through the stitching. Then cut off the label. Don't worry, this isn't a pillow, so you won't go to prison.


I get a lot of comments on my perfect summer shirt. Maybe it has something to do with the printing, which says “Lakewood OHIO My Kind of Town!”